RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity

The opposite of addiction is connection. Have you ever heard that phrase? 
This is one of the primary reasons that engaging in a community that relates to your story, understands what you're feeling AND has a positive mindset around recovery and true healing, can be absolutely critical in your healing journey.
For a betrayed partner, connecting with women who understand can feel so reassuring. For a recovering addict, connecting with others who have gone ahead of him can be extremely encouraging.
People need people. We hope that today's podcast episode encourages you to reach out and connect with others. 
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune
 

Are habits difficult for you to create? Don't worry, Kylene can relate! 
Or are you a master of consistency? Patrick is right there with you!
In today's episode, Patrick and Kylene share the importance of healthy habits and how they can impact your recovery in a positive way.
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

We are all a little afraid of the unknown. Thats' just human.
What happens if I stay with my husband and he relapses? What happens if we get divorced?
"What if" is often one of the scariest questions we can ask, because there is no surefire way to predict the future and know the answer.
In this episode Kylene shares why releasing control can actually be more empowering and freeing than trying to hold onto it.
Kylene and Patrick also share their personal experiences where the unknown future, while they couldn't predict it, and the journey was hard, turned out just fine.
 
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Forgiveness is incredibly difficult after betrayal. It can also be difficult for an addict to forgive themselves after betraying themselves, their partner, and causing so much pain.
And yet, forgiveness of self and others is unimportant part of the healing experience.
Today's episode is a short visualization/meditation on forgiveness. We encourage you not to listen while you drive, but to find a quite, safe place to rest as you do this exercise.
Kylene walks you through a powerful visualization where you first forgive yourself, before forgiving someone else of your choosing. 
You won't want to skip this episode! 
 
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Many betrayed partners have experienced pressure to forgive quickly or felt one of the following:
How could I ever forgive my husband after he cheated on me? 
I want to forgive, but I just....can't!
Forgiveness after betrayal is both difficult, and often misunderstood. There are so many cultural, religious or personal beliefs that we unconsciously mix up into forgiveness soup - and this can cause frustration, confusion and feelings of guilt when forgiveness doesn't come easily.
In today's episode Kylene and Patrick discuss what forgiveness is, what it isn't and share their thoughts on when it's appropriate....or not!
We hope this episode helps you decide what forgiveness really means for YOU!
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Is it possible to rebuild trust after betrayal? How can I trust my partner after they had a sex or porn addiction?
Trust is shattered after discovery and betrayal. It's truly the foundation of safety that allows a relationship to build upon and when it's gone, it takes significant time and effort to create it again.
 
Kylene and Patrick continue to share their personal story around this topic as well as sharing their best pieces of advice to support you as you navigate your own story.
 
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

If you are a betrayed spouse and have ever asked the following questions, this episode is for you!
What do I do when my husband is deleting everything and turning his life over to God?
What do I do if I think my partner has an addiction but I don't have proof?
How do I navigate D-day anniversary or wedding anniversaries? 
 
In this episode, Kylene and Patrick and your questions, and share practical tips to take immediately after discovery (like listing access to technology) and remind the couple not to spiritually bypass the steps it takes for long term recovery. (for more on spiritually bypassing recovery please see episode 23).
 
They also share their personal story as well as perspectives for you to consider when navigating these questions yourself.
 
 
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Have you ever found yourself the position to ask the questions: I just discovered my husband texting other women - what do I do? Or, I just discovered infidelity, what do I do next?
Getting connected to helpful resources quickly can make the biggest difference in recovery for BOTH partners. Patrick and Kylene talk about how to approach this situation when it comes up in your relationship and below they have included links to their favorite resources for both individuals to get started on their healing journey! 
For addict:
1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357
2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here are some starting places)
www.puredesire.org
Additional resources: https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com/getting-help
Boulder Recovery (2 week recovery intensive)
Beginagaininstitute.com
 
3) Connect to a local recovery group (we like the conquer group that you can find locally or online both at puredesire.org and soulrefiner.com
www.samsonsociety.com 
 
4) Read books and listen to recovery podcasts:
RecoverU podcast
Pure Desire podcast
Pure Desire book by Ted Roberts
Clean by Doug Weiss
Unwanted- Jay Stringer
 
 
For the betrayed spouse:
1) Connect with a trauma therapist or coach who is familiar with sex addiction and works with betrayal trauma recovery  - look for someone who also has trauma processing modalities outside of talk therapy
 
If you are interested in working with Kylene please click this link and book a free connection call to see if it’s a good fit:
https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
2) Connect with local, or online groups:
Cosa
Sanon
Betrayal and Beyond - puredesire.org
Infidelity survivors anonymous
www.btr.org
 
3) Ready books and listen to recovery podcasts:
RecoverU podcast 
Pure Desire podcast
Intimate Deception. Sheri Keffer
Facing Heartbreak - Stephanie Carnes
RISE- Misty Terrell

Why should I go to therapy or do any healing work when this is my husband's problem? 
Almost every betrayed partner has had that thought shortly after discovery. In today's episode, Kylene shares 3 reasons that a betrayed partner should actively engage in her own healing, even though she wasn't the one that did anything wrong and how that can help her individual healing as well as the healing of the relationship (should you choose to stay).
 
If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU
 
For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org
Follow Kylene:
On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune 
On IG: @KyleneTerhune

I just discovered my husband looking at pornography- what dod I do?
The importance of connecting to safe, effective, and knowledgeable resources right away after discovery is invaluable for both the betrayed partner and the sex/porn addict.
In this episode Patrick and Kylene discuss effective resources and include the most common links they recommend using to get started below.
For addict:
1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357
 
2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here are some starting places)
www.puredesire.org
Additional resources: https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com/getting-help
Boulder Recovery (2 week recovery intensive)
Beginagaininstitute.com
 
3) Connect to a local recovery group (we like the conquer group that you can find locally or online both at puredesire.org and soulrefiner.com
www.samsonsociety.com 
 
4) Read books and listen to recovery podcasts:
RecoverU podcast 
Pure Desire podcast
Pure Desire book by Ted Roberts
Clean by Doug Weiss
Unwanted- Jay Stringer
For the betrayed spouse:
 
1) Connect with a trauma therapist or coach who is familiar with sex addiction and works with betrayal trauma recovery  - look for someone who also has trauma processing modalities outside of talk therapy
 
If you are interested in working with Kylene please click this link and book a free connection call to see if it’s a good fit:
https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql
 
2) Connect with local, or online groups:
Cosa
Sanon
Betrayal and Beyond - puredesire.org
Infidelity survivors anonymous
www.btr.org
3) Ready books and listen to recovery podcasts:
RecoverU 
Pure Desire podcast
Intimate Deception. Sheri Keffer
Facing Heartbreak - Stephanie Carnes
RISE- Misty Terrell